On Roller Furling…

Normally I try to put things up here that will entertain a broad audience.  I know that most people reading it aren’t going to be very interested by “inside sailing” kinds of stories. Sometimes, I have to make an exception…

“And on the eighth day God created roller furling, and He saw that it was good.” So begins the Book of Jib, a little known book in the Bible, in which God cast His gaze down from the heavens and beheld the labors of the many sailors as they raised and lowered and, with great difficulty, flaked their headsails, always in a grassy area which was supposed to be free of the droppings left by the dogs of Hell but never was found to be so.

God then took pity on the humble workers of the foredeck and inspired His prophets Harken, Schaefer, Hood, and Profurl. To these He gave insight so that they might develop a device that would lessen the burden.

For many years did the men of the sea rejoice at their newfound innovation. But soon they forgot that the miracle of roller furling was a gift from God and instead began to believe it of their own making. They added automatic motors, and applied it to the mainsail as well, which constituted a breech of ancient law, the manual hoisting and lowering of the mainsail being a holy and sacred sacrament.

They furled sails hither and yon, inside the mast or the boom, trying without success to hide the shameful practice from the eyes of God. God, being then displeased with the arrogance of man, jammed the furling units, leaving the sails exposed to the gales, which tore at them and made the sailors cry and gnash their teeth. The sailors brought down their tattered rags from aloft, and with heads hung low did take them to the sail maker, whose prices soared higher than the stars in the firmament. And God laid their checking accounts to waste.

The sailors did then beseech redemption. “From this day forward we shall flake our mainsails and mizzens about their booms like good men!” And God saw that it was good.

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2 Responses to On Roller Furling…

  1. Chuck says:

    Very funny Bill I hope you too will be in Hawaii around the middle of April 2016 Mary and I will be in Oahu on the 13th.
    Chuck

    Like

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